I’ll be there for you I will care for you I keep thinking you just don’t know try to run from that say you’re done with that on your face, it just don’t show . when you’re ready just say you’re ready when all the baggage just ain’t as heavy and the parties over just dont forget me we’ll change the pace and we’ll just go slow .. You won’t ever have to worry, you wont ever have to hide… So look me in my eyes …. If you let me, heres what I’ll do … I’ll take care of y o u .

I’ve loved and I’ve lost….

i just got compelled to write and im going to make this fast because im at work and trying to sneak this but im sitting talk to my friend and i asked him if he was happy in his relationship. with just the amount of time it took him to respond i knew my answer. and i know the feeling - towards the end of my relationship i was miserable. i cried every day. didnt want to be there but i stayed because i was comfortable and didnt want to lose what i had worked so hard for. but coming out of that situation and looking back - i put this on everything and everyone i love - i will NEVER be in a situation and be miserable EVER again. when you’re in a relationship you cant really see that. you’re scared to leave, you’re scared to be by yourself, you’re scared he’ll find someone else, you’re scared of not knowing and you’re of scared of something new. but i can tell you this - temporary pain is NOTHING compared to a lifetime of it. id rather be sad for a month while i get used to being alone then be sad for years and then on top of that, have a family, a house, bills, and everything else that comes with being in an “adult” relationship. happiness is something thats not hard to maintain but it takes 1 second to FUCK everything up. if you put that type of power into someone else, you’re better and more brave then i am or ever will. not saying a person or a thing cant make you happy - but YOU have to control that. because with happiness you can become blind. you can become blind to everyytthinngg else around you because all you see is happiness with that one thing. so if you let just happiness or just a person control you - you will lose sight of everything else thats important. you need to control how happy you are. so if you arent happy - and be honest with yourself - LEAVE.  people dont want to admit that their hearts changed, that something happened and its messed up their mental of what they wanted or what they thought they had. denial is a bitch but with love comes honesty. dont be afraid to feel what you do. go back to it later on down the line if you feel like what you once had was really what you want … but chances are, its not. i saw my whole life with my ex. we had babies names picked out and everything. i had to completely remove myself from the situation to see that this is not what makes me happy anymore and its not where i want to be for the rest of my life. i think that fact alone is the most upsetting. its the most disappointing. you spend so much time with one person and then you end up alone. but thats the name of the game. everyone plays it. some people win. some people lose. but everyone plays it.

my point is this - nothing is worth you losing sleep, crying every day, not eating, being sick to your stomach unless you have a baby in your belly and your emotions and body is all out of sorts. love is NOT pain. while it may cause hurt, love is amazing. love is true. love is loyal. love is honest. love is faithful. love is happiness. so if you dont have that, give yourself a chance to find it. you deserve it.